What is Neutrois?
You have the right to self identify however you wish. There is no gender police here – nobody to tell you what you are, how you are, or how you’re supposed to be. If you feel Neutrois is a label, word, concept, term, or identity that fits you in any way, take it as yours. There are as many ways of experiencing and expressing your gender as there are people.
There is no one definition on Neutrois, since each person that self-identifies as such experiences their gender differently. The most commonly used definitions are:
- Neither male nor female
Neutrois is understood as a non-binary gender identity that falls under the genderqueer and/or transgender umbrellas.
Genderless or Gender-Neutral?
Some neutrois do feel completely genderless – that is, they have no gender, an absence of gender, or are null gendered. Others have an internal gender that is neither male, nor female, just neutral. Agender is a term used interchangeably for both. So while the prefix a- in agender may hint at a “lack of,” neutrois and agender do not always signify a lack of gender.
To get a sense for how a neutrois or otherwise genderqueer person experiences their gender, it is recommended to read their stories firsthand. Here are a few from bloggers who have attempted to explain their gender:
- Micah runs Neutrois Nonsense, and sees their Neutrois identity as gender neutral.
- Marilyn Roxie runs Genderqueer Identities, and wrote a story on finding their identity as Genderqueer.
- Jillian Cottle blogs at A Fine Line, and lays out what it’s like to feel genderless.
Discover more stories in the Community listings.
Transmasculine, Transfeminine, and other permutations
Some neutrois people feel they aren’t completely 100% gender-free or gender-neutral; rather, they lean a little more towards one side or another of the gender spectrum.
Transfeminine means the person tilts towards female, transmasculine towards male. These are just two combinations – other people define their gender using other terms or phrases, not necessarily tied to the male/female binary. It’s important to note this does not invalidate, contradict, or cancel out being neutrois, as they still feel a strong affinity with this identity. Instead, being transmasculine or transfeminie or any other variation is more of a modifier or a complement which adds to the complexity of their gender, gender expression, or gender identity.
In these cases there might be a preference to present more closely to one gender over another, or it can be more comfortable to just live as one binary gender rather than the other. However, this choice is more often a result of convenience in order to navigate a society in which only two genders are recognized. A lot of people would ideally opt to have neutrois recognized as their gender and not be forced to make a decision between male and female only.
- “Do I have to experience dysphoria to be Neutrois?”
- Dysphoria is described as a feeling of extreme and intense discomfort. A lot of neutrois do experience gender dysphoria, through a combination of being phsyically distressed by their body and/or socially frustrated at how they are seen, categorized, and treated by others. Other neutrois undergo feelings of distress, sadness, or frustration to a lesser degree – or even none at all – which can manifest itself as slight discomfort or simply indifference with their physical or social gender. They may also just have a preference for identifying as or expressing themselves as neutral or genderless, rather than as a binary gender, without the accompanying distress around their current state. Neither experience is “more valid” or “more legitimate” – diversity is an integral part of the spectrum.
- “I feel gender-neutral, but I prefer when people see me as a boy rather than a girl (or vice-versa, or any other combination)”
- Do not fret, many transmasculine/transfeminine/trans* neutrois feel the same way as you. Whether this preference is caused by an aversion or an affinity to your birth gender; whether this preference is made-up for convenience; whether this preference is… – it doesn’t matter, because you don’t need to justify it! You are no more or less neutrois than somebody who feels completely genderless, or entirely gender-neutral; you just are you, and that’s that.
- “Do I need to look androgynous to be Neutrois?”
- While most neutrois do seek an androgynous appearance, other people prefer another gender expression altogether. Remember that gender identity and gender expression are completely separate.
- “Do I have to want to transition?”
- Some neutrois feel comfortable just knowing they have discovered this identity. For them, it’s relief enough to be able to put into words something they have been trying to understand for so long. Other neutrois have an intense desire to transition partially or fully, with some aspects being more important than others. On the other hand, some neutrois are impartial to transition, and might seek only parts of it which are convenient. It’s up to you and you only to make your own unique transition path.
- “Do I have to want surgery?”
- Many neutrois people do want surgery, many do not. The most common point of discomfort is breasts, for which neutrois people often seek top surgery; another is genitalia, for which people seek either an orchiectomy or a penectomy. However, a lot of neutrois people feel perfectly comfortable with their body and do not feel a need to “correct” anything. Others would prefer to have surgery, but feel it is more of a distant idea, too much of a hassle, or an unnecessary health risk.